Ephesians 5:21-33. Paul is dealing with people who have put their trust in Jesus to restore their relationship with God. Part of the promise from God is that that relationship will continue forever into eternity future. Paul uses the ideas of a family and a body to help the believers understand their new relationship with God and with each other. And he uses the idea of a kingdom to help them understand what God is doing in human history and beyond. Remember that Ephesus was the capital of that particular part of the Roman Empire. It was a rich city on an important trade route. As with most major cities of that time it was filled with temples to many “gods”, was famous for it’s temple to Aretmis or Diana and was also a center of worship of the Roman kings, called Caesar’s.   Wealth, parties and power were all around none of which satisfied peoples’ desire for real meaning and purpose in their lives.

Paul has been reminding the believes that they do have real meaning and purpose; lives that can make an eternal difference for their friends and neighbors. As children of God they have the opportunity to reveal God, the one true God, creator of Heaven and earth, to those around them. Imitating God involves a life different from that of the unbelieving people of Ephesus though, instead of following after all the pointless partying and greed of their culture they are to live lives that reflect God’s values and concerns. They are not to live for themselves but are to live good, right, lives that help their friends and neighbors see their broken relationship with God and Jesus as the only path back to God.

Yesterday we ended with Paul encouraging the believers to be filled with the Holy Spirit encouraging themselves and others with songs about God and with thanksgiving to God. Some Bible experts see verse 21 as the beginning of a new section or idea while others see it as a part of the previous section. Ephesians was probably dictated orally by Paul to a friend who was writing it down for him. There are some hints in the New Testament that Paul had a problem with his eyes and it would have been normal for him to dictate at least some of his letters.

I think verse 21 is connected with what was said before and with what is coming up next. Verse 21 tells the believers to submit to one another.   That’s pretty cool since the different ways he has been talking about the believers it is clear they are a team; a family, a building, a body. Notice that they are asked to “submit” to “one another”. This is a willing action and no one is singled out as the boss. So the “submitting” to each other relates back to the filling of the Holy Spirit and the motive is respect for “Christ”.

He probable uses the title “Christ” to remind his readers about who Jesus is and what he has done for them. In verse 20 Paul called Jesus “the Lord” and also used the title “Christ” (Christ is equal to Messiah in the Old Testament and means “chosen one”).   Back in Ephesians 5:2 we were just reminded that Jesus the “Chosen one” “gave himself up for us”. The word “lord” means lord or master. In most cases lords don’t sacrifice for their subjects the subjects are sacrificed for the masters. That their “lord” sacrificed himself for them would be quite a contrast with the “lords” that filled a city like Ephesus.   In verse 21 Paul asks the Ephesian believers in Jesus to show respect for Jesus by following his example and submit themselves to each other. The readings for the next two days are going to explain how that would look or work out in their every day lives. In today’s reading Paul is going to deal with submission between husbands and wives. In tomorrow’s reading he is going to deal with parents and children and masters and slaves. If seeing that word slave makes you mad you will want to be sure to read tomorrows post (see also the posts on Philemon, a letter Paul wrote at the same time as Ephesians to his friend Philemon about a runaway slave).

Remember that Paul was a citizen of the Roman Empire. He was also a dedicated Jew before he became a Christian (See “Paul: Sent one to the Gentiles”). He was also a part of a culture that had been largely influenced by the Greeks. The Roman Empire was formed out of part of the Greek Empire when Alexander the Great died. Greek philosophers and thinkers recognized that households or families were the basic unit of a society. The also recognized three relationships within those households: Husbands and wives, parents and children, and masters and slaves. Life (including business), in Paul’s day, revolved around households. Even the life of the church was wrapped up in household life. There were no church buildings in those days, churches met in the homes of the members (by the way the Greek word for church is “ekklesia” and means “a group called together” or “called out”). The way the believers acted in these three relationships would have been very obvious to followers of Jesus and visitors alike and would have communicated a great deal. These relationships would certainly be part of “the light” that the believers were shining on the world around them and Paul wanted to make sure it was “in the Lord” (see Ephesians 5:8).

In verse 22 the first group that Paul talks to is wives. It is interesting that the verb “submit” isn’t part of verse 22, in a way verse 22 is a continuation of verse 21 where the verb is found. So verse 22 is the first example Paul uses of how the believers are to “submit” to one another. The Greek language doesn’t have a word for wife. The word here is “gune” and it strictly means “woman”. The word translated “husband” is the Greek word “aner” and it just means man. But we are told that the man in this case is “her own”. That tells us that this is a husband, not just any man. I bring this up because some people like to say that Paul was saying that all women are under the authority of all men. That is wrong. Also remember that this woman is being asked to willingly submit to “her man”, her husband. And notice that Paul says it is like the way she “submits” (remember the verb isn’t here only in verse 21) to the Lord (Jesus); again willingly. If you are a woman don’t get mad and quit yet, Paul is not a “misogynist” (hater of women) the next verse starts to explain this whole arrangement.

In verse 23 Paul says he wants the woman to willingly submit to her husband because the man is the head of the wife like Jesus is the head of the church. He then explains how and why Jesus is the “head” of the church, because he is the “savior of the body”.   In Ephesians 1:23; 4:4,12, 16 Paul uses the idea of a body to describe the church but notice that it is Christ’s body and that he uses his influence in the body to build it up and provide for it. That same idea is also in here in Ephesians 5:23 where we are told that Jesus saves the body. The fact that Jesus is the savior of the body in verse 23 is parallel with the idea that he is the head of the church. The idea here is that the wife is to let her husband care for her and protect her as an example or a picture of what Jesus is willing to do for those who will follow him. If the fact that this part of a marriage relationship is supposed to paint a picture of Jesus and his followers to the world isn’t clear enough Paul makes it more clear in verse 24 he says just as the church (the ones Jesus called to and who responded to him) is subject to Christ (the one sent to them to restore their relationship with God and show them how to live for God) so wive should (willingly) submit to their husbands “in everything”.

Don’t hang up yet, Paul still isn’t a “woman hater”. Remember Paul is trying to help the followers of Jesus in Ephesus be imitators of God; let their lives teach the world about God. Just as we willingly put ourselves under Jesus’ care and direction Paul is asking the wives to do the same. The everything here doesn’t mean everything. In 2 Corinthians 4:8; 7:5 Paul uses the exact same language “in everything” but doesn’t mean he had suffered in everyway possible, it was his way of say that his suffering touched all parts of his life. Remember that earlier in the chapter Paul told the believers that they were “children of light and were to be lights”. He also told them that meant being “good and right and dealing with the reality” (see the post on Ephesians 5:8-14 if you don’t remember the “reality” part) and that it meant finding out what pleases God. Here the wife is encouraged to use her relationship with her husband to mirror a believers relationship with Jesus. I heard a pastor say once, “What would happen if tomorrow you only had what you thanked God for today?”

Think about the air you breath, the water you drink, the warmth of the sun, the cool of a breeze. You know the Bible teaches that God made all of those things. It is a lie that the universe evolved from an explosion of matter and that all of this is just the backwash of that great cosmic vomit. Every scientist knows that deep inside of themselves and those that deny that the universe was intelligently created work very hard to convince themselves of that lie (Romans 1:19-21). The Bible teaches that God created it all and according to God’s testimony it wasn’t complete and finished until he had the first man and his wife in that perfect place made just for them (Genesis 1:1-31. See also Genesis 2). Scientists even recognize that the earth and it’s placement in our solar system, at least, seem to fit perfectly with life as we know it, they even have a term for the fact that it all fits together, “anthropic principle”. They even argue about how the universe got so fine tuned to our existence, some say it was just random, one of a multitude of universes (think of the comic books multiverse) others argue for a creation by aliens from a previous universe. Wow, anything but God, like I said they work hard to deny God.  As believers we need to recognize that God created everything, air, water, life, emotions, all of it. The Bible also teaches that God keeps it all together (Colossians 1:16-17, by the way Colossians, Ephesians, and Philemon were all written at the same time and carried by the same messenger back to the original recipients). Paul wants the relationship between a husband and wife to help us understand these facts about God, about Jesus. God designed marriage to teach dependence, love, care, and other truths about our relationship with God. Wives and husbands willing put themselves in these roles as part of being a light to the world.

In verse 25 Paul starts talking to the husbands. In that verse he tells husbands to love their wives. Easy right, no submission just flowers and candy and lots of orders. Nope! Husbands need to love like Jesus did, and if there’s any question what that means Paul says, “You remember he died on a cross for you all.” In verse 26 Paul tells us it was all about taking the best possible care of the one(s) he loved. Jesus helped us become most special. The talk about washing is an image from ancient times. In Paul’s day there wasn’t running water (at least for most people) but for the wedding a lot of effort went into getting all cleaned up. Water was gotten for a real bath and the finest clothes they could get were put on. Paul uses this image of a pre-wedding bath to describe how we were cleaned up. In our case the cleaning up was by Jesus and was just how it had been described in God’s word. In Romans 10 Paul makes it very clear that being “cleaned up” requires our consent. Jesus won’t force us into his family. So we are made right with God and become a part of the church when we accept what the Bible teaches us about God and sin and Jesus and salvation, when we say “yes” to Jesus.

In verse 27 we see the result of what Jesus has done for us, we are like a beautiful bride on here wedding day no spots or wrinkles, completely special (holy) and un-blamable. Jesus has dealt with all our guilt and imperfections. In the same way husbands need to love their wives like they are their own bodies (verse 28). Interestingly in some mysterious way that is just what husbands and wives are, or supposed to be, one body. Paul makes it clear that we need to treat our wives in the best way possible, the way we treat ourselves. Most people try to make their lives as comfortable as possible. That is the way we need to treat our wives and the way Jesus treats His followers (verses 29-30). In verse 31 Paul quotes Genesis 2:24 and tells us that when a man and woman get married they become one body in some sense. It is interesting that in that story in Genesis it was not good that Adam was alone and so God took a piece of him and made Eve to be his partner; his helper. God didn’t use more dirt to make her, He used a piece of Adam. I wonder if God did that so we would realize just how important we are to Him, we are not just some piece of dirt to him. Remember that the church is described as Jesus body and he has done everything for those believers. The all powerful creator of the universe took on human flesh (forever) and then died on a Roman cross for us. Husbands are to model this in their love for their wives, make every sacrifice for them. That doesn’t sound like advise from a “woman hater” to me. Notice that it never tells the husband to boss his wife around, that he is lord and master. In fact there is only one lord in this picture, it is Jesus. Wives are told that Jesus is their Lord in verse 22 and Jesus certainly is the one the husbands are supposed to follow too.

Some Bible experts think that Paul was picking up on the culture of his times and using the ideas about households and the relationships in households and bending those ideas to teach the believers. In reality though households and the relationships in them were things that God created at least in the case of marriage and children and parents. It’s clear from his quote that marriage goes all the way back to the Garden of Eden and God. In verse 32 Paul basically says, “You want to know a secret? All this talk about husbands and wives is really about the church.” God made marriage what and how it is so that the world would have a real life picture of the relationship between God and mankind or at least between God and Jesus’ followers. That is why it is so important to protect what marriage is. Ultimately marriage isn’t about me and my wife it’s about showing the world how God loves us and how we love God. That is why marriage is supposed to be exclusive, that is why marriage is supposed to be forever, that is why there are different roles in marriage. Remember yesterday we learned that we are supposed to make the most of our lives; we are not supposed to chase after the here and now but live lives that will have meaning in eternity.

The cool thing is God made it so we can live here and now and have lives that have meaning in eternity. God could have made life boring everything black and white and cold plain oatmeal but instead he gave us color and yummy food and taste buds and awesome relationships like marriage to both enjoy and to help us understand him and eternity. We don’t live in a monastery like monks we get to live for him. And living life the way he made it is really living, it fits the way we were made and touches people for eternity too.

Thank you God for life. Thank you for creating it with purpose and order. Thank you for how good it can be. I’m sorry for the times I’ve messed it up. I’m sorry for the times I’ve wasted my life on just the here and now. Thank you for showing me the way, a way that is better now and better in eternity. Help me use my life and my relationships to bring the world closer to you. Thank you for my wife. Help me nourish and cherish her like you love and care for us.